Friday, February 5, 2010

THIS is TRUE #816: 31 January

EXHIBIT A: "I think the record should reflect that the witness is
vomiting," said the defense attorney in a murder trial in Winnipeg,
Man., Canada. Danny Simao, who was being cross-examined, explained he
suffers from irritable bowel syndrome and acid reflux, and often vomits
when he's under stress. His testimony was expected to take up to five
days, but the judge excused court for the day when Simao couldn't stop
being sick. (Edmonton Sun) ...Usually it's the jury that pukes during
murder trials.

Nicole Mamo, 48, tried to place a help-wanted advert in Thetford,
Norfolk, England. The owner of an employment agency, Mamo said
applicants for the 5.80-pound/hour (US$9.35) position of cleaner "must
be very reliable and hard-working." But the Thetford Jobcentre refused
the ad. "She said it was because they could have cases against them for
discriminating against unreliable people," Mamo said. "We supply the
[National Health Service] with staff, so it's very important for the
patients that we have reliable workers." (London Telegraph) ...And
really, isn't the term "worker" discriminatory against the lazy, too?



HARD-HEADED GUY: Travis Copeland, 19, was in court in Lake County, Ill.,
when he saw an opportunity to escape, sheriff's deputies say. Facing a
charge of aggravated battery on a police officer, Copeland ran out of
the felony courtroom with bailiffs in hot pursuit. As he ran through a
skyway over a street, he saw that deputies were closing on him from
both ends, so he turned around and tried to dive through the glass. Bad
idea: the glass is "bulletproof", and he bounced right off. Had he made
it through, he would have fallen 30 feet to the heavy traffic of the
street below. (Arlington Heights Daily Herald) ...Hey, he wasn't facing
felony charges because he's smart.

INSULT TO INJURY: A police officer in Portland, Ore., was sitting at a
stoplight when she saw a man who was on fire. The unidentified officer
grabbed a fire extinguisher out of her patrol car's trunk and doused
the man. It wasn't until later that it was discovered she didn't grab a
fire extinguisher, but rather a riot-sized can of pepper spray. The
spray "didn't have any additional reaction" on the man, said Kim Kosmas
of the Portland Fire Bureau, "with him already being on fire." Police
Bureau Chief Rosie Sizer said that "in many, many ways, her acts were
heroic," but the mentally ill man, who was committing suicide, died
anyway. (Portland Oregonian) ...The officer: not very seasoned. The
victim: definitely was.

EXCESSIVE FORCE: "Cops Stop Cyclist with Butcher Knife-Pool Cue Axe" --
AP headline

DID YOU FIND an error? See

DID THE BRITISH Jobcentre story sound familiar? It sure did to me, and
sure enough: (note the date on that...).

THE OTHER HALF of this week's stories included: Governor's special
prosecutor and head of anti-gambling task force wins jackpot at casino.
Man literally coughs up the evidence in stolen jewelry case -- right in
front of the cops. Cat called for jury duty -- and jury commissioner
refuses to excuse it from service. Woman doesn't take boyfriend's
breakup idea very well -- ends up with felony charges. Politician wants
to replace "negative labels" like "poor children", the "disadvantaged"
and "at-risk" with politically correct alternative. It's not too late
to read these stories: just ask for your upgrade to start with the 31
January issue:

I'M HAPPY TO SAY that the Hard-Headed Guy's escape attempt was captured
on security camera video. I'm even happier to say I was able to get my
hands on it! It's posted, with his mug shot, on my new site Mug Shot

I'm *thrilled* at the uptake on the new site: By Monday, it had already
broken the world's top-million site list -- 891,415, according to Alexa
-- and on Monday it was only a week old! Today, just 11 days after
launch, Alexa had it as the 476,664th most-popular web site in the
world, and number 44,741 in the U.S. Astounding!

It now has a Facebook "fan page", too. If you're on Facebook, you can
join the group at and click
the "Become a Fan" button.

TRUE also has a fan page:
as well as Get Out of Hell Free cards:

We all have Twitter presence too:

We're still working on adding some archive mug shots to the museum, but
mostly it's new stuff, including some GREAT new postings since last
week. There's a place to sign up for e-mail updates if you'd like
notice when new items are added (I'm making sure that a maximum of one
e-mail alert is sent per day, which should settle down to several per
week over time). Last, today I added a place to submit mug shots you
find when browsing news sites: there's a link in the footer of every
page to that. Enjoy!

o o o

EARLY WARNING! I'm discontinuing the Get Out of Hell Free card. Well,
sort of: the original "classic" black-print-on-orange-stock card will
no longer be printed in favor of the MUCH more popular "Deluxe" card,
which is printed in color on both sides on heavy coated stock, which
ironically costs less to produce. I recently got a big batch of the
older cards, so I have PLENTY of packs of 50 and "Jumbo Packs" (boxes
full) in stock. I told Premium subscribers about this at Christmastime
to give them a chance to stock up, but I was amused to see that while
sales of the cards spiked, just about everyone was getting the newer
"Deluxe" cards! I always carry a stack of the Deluxe cards, but don't
bother with the "classic" ones anymore. I've noticed that when people
are wondering what the cards are about, they virtually always turn it
over to look at the back; the "Classic" cards don't have anything
there, but the Deluxe version has a brief explanation. They're much
more "impressive" to the recipient, too. But YOU may prefer the older
version; if so, then stock up while you have the chance, because there
won't be any more made after current stock is gone. See the buggy old
shopping cart at to see everything
currently available in the GOOHF category. (The cart is going to be
upgraded "soon".)

o o o

AMONG THE LATEST postings to Jumbo Joke: Zero Gravity Bureaucracy -- the
Real Story. I got tired of the old "space pen" joke that turned into a
"this is really true!" urban legend, so I explain what the truth is --
which you may actually find more funny!

YOU'RE ASKED AT WORK to supervise a Project Manager.
Quick: how do you learn more without looking like an idiot?

Learn the basics of Project Management so you can
get up to speed quickly on the topic and not look stupid.

A New Article Every Week:

TO SUBMIT STORIES and vote on what submissions are best, register for
free at

TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: The British Empire might not be an empire anymore,
but America is in their footsteps:
And don't forget for a new story every day on
your iPhone, BlackBerry, Android, or other web-enabled phone!

This non-profit site allows people to create special web sites to keep
family and friends informed during "difficult times" (medical problems,
military deployment, etc.) The CaringBridge software does the work so
people can just use it to communicate, rather than try to learn how to
create web sites. More than 183,000 sites have been created for
families to keep in touch at no cost to them, and with no advertising
on the site. To keep things private visitors have to know an exact URL
to get to an individual site, and the family can add password
protection for extra privacy.
-- Bonzer Sites archive:

THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Ralph McInerny. A religious
scholar, McInerny is better known for his novels, including a series
that was made into a popular TV show. For the full story see
NOTE: The full Honorary Unsubscribe is included in the Premium edition --
you don't have to click to a web site to read it. Support the
publication that brings it to you!

YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a
friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this
newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks.

TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular
and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he
was doomed.

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THIS is TRUE: 31 January 2010 Copyright


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